Six years ago I wrote a post about an Italian lifestyle titled Mammoni – Mamma’s Boys in Italy and today it ranks as my most popular post. Mammoni, a term applied to single Italian men who live at home with their mothers sometimes into their forties and fifties. This Italian lifestyle is alive and well today, maybe moreso in light of the worsening economic situation in Bella Italia. And so is its counterpart, mammismo. The two lifestyles appear to go hand in hand.
According to to The Telegraph, mammismo is an “Italian bond of love between a man and his mother that chokes romance, inhibits sex drive, and even has the power to slow the economy.” They report that Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, the archbishop of Genoa, warned that the phenomenon is “one of the biggest risks to marriage in the country today.”
The Times Live corroborates this information, stating “the classic attachment between Italian men and their mothers – is one of the biggest risks to marriage today.” Going even further, “Leading matrimonial lawyer Gian Ettore Gassani said interfering mothers-in-law were responsible for 30% of all separations.”
Last year ITV News aired an ON Assignment episode titled “Italy’s mamma’s boys: The curse of the mammoni,” where they interviewed three Italian women who left their partners because of their mothers. One even described the situation as an addiction.
From my conversations with Italian men and women I’ve met on my travels to Italy, I understand that not all Italian men are so attached to their mamas. Many are in committed relationships, some married and some cohabitation.
From what I have discerned, moving away from the mother seems to be helpful so this mammismo does not become a problem for the couple. Traditionally the Italian mother however does always hold a place of honor and importance in the culture.
The latest figures from Eurostat show “sixty-seven percent of 18-34-year-old Italians” living with their parents. This figure is almost “20 points higher than the European average.” Due to the lack of jobs, there is not much of an alternative.
So the trend is controversial and I’d love to hear your opinions, so please leave a comment.
Grazie and Ciao.
If you haven’t checked out my books on Italy yet, please visit my author page on Amazon. Also available on Amazon UK.
Kat Heinrich
Dear Margie, could you be so kind as to remove my lengthy response from your blog? Id like to submit it to a competition, and they have the criteria that it has to be unpublished. Thank you x Kat
margieinitaly
Sure…Good luck
margieinitaly
Kat,
First let me say thank you for taking time to share your personal story and experiences here. I appreciate your honesty. I’m also glad you realize you are worth more than what you’ve tolerated. No judgment whatsoever…it seems you’ve given the relationship every possible chance and it took this amount of time and events to realize he isn’t going to change. You’re right that he’s married to his mother in an unhealthy way. I know you are in the stages of grieving the loss right now. I respect you for making the decision you did. Better days are ahead.
By the way, have you considered writing a book?
Epiphany about Barry Allen | fynm
[…] often comes late, has strong feelings for his mum to the point of avenging her ordeal, has a patron saint in Jay Garrick […]
Debra Kolkka
I married an Italian man when I was very young. His parents were dead when I met him. His sister and sisters-in-law took over the role of mother. Fortunately his lovely sisters-in-law were wonderful to me. His sister, now that is another story.
Margie Miklas
Thanks, Debra for sharing your experience….